I guess somehow we must remember all those buried pains so we can truly move on and forget what’s been holding us back.
Oh how I used to pray to God to make it stop, make it all go away.
Oh how angry I became each day as it continued on ... and how I constantly asked God how he could forget about me... how he could let this pain go on so long.
Oh how I wondered what I did wrong to deserve it all and how I wished someone would recognize the death of me inside the shell of me and how I took it from one extreme to the next to make it that more obvious, but still no one noticed or dared to question and stop the vicious cycle of torment.
Oh how one day, after losing someone whom I thought I was protecting through my silence, the one person that gave me hope... oh how I finally had enough and was gifted with strength from that loss, just enough strength to stand up for myself and say, No More!!!
And soon after it all stopped somehow one day I forgot. I forgot the pain hidden deep and the memories that haunted me for years. Those memories that caused me to lose faith because I thought God forgot about me. Never realizing how he... yes God, he answered my prayers, he took it all away so I could go on and somehow function despite it all. He made me forget how it felt, how it all happened and a part of me was able to survive.
Now, after all these years with my faith restored and with the strength God has bestowed upon me through a series of trials and errors to ensure I could handle it all... oh how I realize it's now time to remember. It's time to remember it all so I can truly forget and be resurrected.
What are you holding onto that's stunting your growth? What have you asked God to make go away so you could go on? Are you ready to remember it all so you can truly be free?